Opening Day!

It's opening day for the Rochester Red Wings, and I'm off to sit in a 30 degree outdoor stadium. Hmm... Rohrbach, Genesee, or coffee?

Pics from Beer School shortly.

Beer School tomorrow at Monty's Korner

Every other Thursday at 7pm, my homebrewer friend Pat Hughes and I conduct a themed beer tasting session at Monty's Korner in Rochester. The bar likes the title "Beer School," so that's what we'll go with.

Anyway, tomorrow the subject is IPA. Come down, taste a range of both English and American interpretations of the style, get a pint of your choice, and scarf down a slice of the quintessential beer pairing food- pizza. It's free!

-Mark

Missed conversations

Oops. I found that my comment moderation filter picked up a lot of unapproved comments from readers, but didn't necessarily e-mail me the comments. So a bunch of good points from readers didn't get posted.

I need the comment filter to keep spam off the blog (there's tons of it), but I don't like it when your input gets lost. If you've left a comment that never showed up, check again. I think I've got them all.

Lewe's Arms Race

A story I've been following on the Brookston Beer Bulletin: There's an interesting battle of wills taking place in the Lewes Arms pub in East Sussex, England. It seems large English brewer Greene King has bought the pub, replacing the fine local beer they normally serve with Folger's Crys...er...their own beer.

Needless to say, this has incensed the locals, who love their pub and their brewery. A boycott is in effect and business is off 90%.

I like Greene King's beers, but their attitude sucks. It's good to see a grassroots effort against corporate arrogance working for a change.

Beercraft newspaper column #36: Bock beer and Beyond

Bock beers will put hair on your…whatever

By Mark Tichenor and Bruce Lish

Is there anything that makes you feel as good as a newly-emerging spring? No longer does the frigid air sear your lungs with every breath. The trees are beginning to show some tentative yellow-green. Those nasty grey piles of icy sludge disappear from the roadside.

They feel good about the coming of spring in Germany, too. Now, it’s the traditional time to tap the bock beer.

In the days before refrigeration, brewers in the German Alps needed help from the winter to make their cold-fermenting strong lager. They would brew in December, storing the beer in frigid mountain caves. When spring came, with the hills once again dotted with the wild goats that have become the symbol of the style (“Bock” is “goat” in German), the stored beer would be ready.

And, like a wild goat, bock has a powerful kick. The traditional style is sweet, with little to no hop flavor, and all that malt masks the taste of the beer’s 6%+ alcohol content. Further up the scale, Doppelbocks (double bocks) can clock in at 9% alcohol by volume and the mighty Eisbock (ice bock), which has been frozen to remove water and concentrate the alcohol, can top 15%.

So let’s go up the ladder and try one of each. Spaten Bock is currently available around our fair city. It’s surprisingly light in color for a bock, but quite beefy in sweet malt flavor. You’ll detect a pleasant bready flavor imparted by the grains, yet it retains a crisp finish.

This beer is definitely robust enough to pair with a steak dinner, but probably goes best with sausages. We recommend pairing a pitcher of Spaten Bock with a couple of Bauernwurst at Swan Market, our favorite lunch hangout, on Parcells Ave.

Of course, there are times, such as after losing your job or when the in-laws visit, where the regular bock just isn’t enough. You can tell a Doppelbock by its name. Most of them end in “-ator,” is in Paulaner Salvator, Ayinger Celebrator, and Spaten Optimator.

In addition to its higher alcohol content, Doppelbock is also darker and sweeter. Hops, slightly perceptible in bock, are almost completely absent from the Doppelbock’s flavor profile. Instead, you’ll find complex raisin, grape, and toffee flavors.

Our favorite Doppelbock, Tucher Bajuvator, goes well with meat dishes and chocolate. If you’re having trouble sleeping, it could also be considered the ‘Ny-Quil’ of Germany.

If you’re one of those hoity-toity types whose idea of a perfect evening is sitting next to the fire in a smoking jacket sipping port, you might want to try Aventinus Eisbock for your next apertif.

The freezing and water removal of this beer is actually a form of distillation, so the line between beer and spirit begins to blur, as does everything else when you drink this stuff. In fact, it’s illegal to brew and sell Eisbock in New York State without a distiller’s license, so don’t expect Rohrbach, Custom Brewcrafters, or Southern Tier to dabble in this style anytime soon.

In fact, it’s hard to characterize the flavor of Eisbock as beer. It’s like a malt brandy, with a thick, chunky mouth feel. At this level of alcoholic content, the sweetness is intense, with cherry and plum notes. It’s really something to be sipped and appreciated instead of quaffed by the liter.

German bock beers are a strange dichotomy. They’re at once a hearty farmer’s festival beer and a sophisticated evening fare. They’re enjoyed on an equal footing by both metrosexual nightclubbers and big, red-faced dudes in Lederhosen.

In a society where beer is considered the basest of beverages, Styles like this prove to the wine and brandy crowd how complex, varied, and skillfully crafted a great beer can be. Prosit!

In other beers:

The biweekly 7pm Beercraft Tasting Session is continuing every other Thursday at Monty’s Korner. Last week Jason Fox, Head Brewer at Custom Brewcrafters, took a small but enthusiastic crowd through a range of bock beer.

These events are free, and there’s pizza too. Really, it’s a win-win situation. Come down, grab a sampler glass, and learn about the best beverages on the planet.

Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

Bruce is returning to Rohrbach

Well, looks like my friend and co-columnist, Bruce Lish, is returning to work at the Rohrbach Brewing Company.

Bruce was the brewer at Rohrbach's downtown Rochester location for a couple of years, until it closed. Now that the microbrewery is expanding again, he's back to brew their specialty ales.

It'll be a few months before you taste Bruce's beer, but trust me, it'll be worth the wait. It's a smart move on Rohrbach's part.

Beer tasting tonight at Monty's Korner

I know this is a bit late, but Jason Fox, Brewer for Custom Brewcrafters, will be holding our now biweekly tasting at Monty's Kroner at 7pm. The subject: Bock Beers. If you can, come down and try some, it's free!

An ale for what cures you?

Local Rochester nightclub magnate Ronnie Davis has just opened up a new neon-resplendent establishment near my house. It's called "The Ale House," and rumor has it they'll be focusing on good beer.

I've not yet visited, but I have my doubts that a dude who built his nightlife empire on the dispensing of 2 for 1 Coors Light and Sexes on the Beach into giggly, barely legal proto-adults will put together a compelling beer menu. I could be wrong, though.

Anyway, next door, at Monty's Korner, there's a high quality, interesting lineup of beers. That's probably good enough for me.

Beercraft tasting on Thursday

Continuing our nigh-indefinite series of beer tastings, Pat and I will be guiding interesting parties through a flight of, ahem, Beers From Ireland That Aren't Stouts. We haven't nailed everything down yet, but you can figure on Harp and Smithwicks, plus whatever else we can dig up at Beers of the World.

The tasting is at 7pm tomorrow, at Monty's Korner in sunny Rochester, New York. It's free, with a free pint at the end. It's a pretty good deal, actually.

Beercraft newspaper column #35: St. Patrick's Day

Begorrah! Here we go again!

By Mark Tichenor and Bruce Lish

Well, it’s that time of the year again; the time when everyone freaks out about all things Irish. Not that we’re complaining. After all, it’s much easier to wrap a beer column around a holiday like St. Patrick’s Day than, say, Arbor Day or President’s Week.

So you’re gonna dress up in green, pile the family into the SUV, and head on down to the scary, scary City for the parade. Chances are you’ll wind up with a Guinness in your hand, and that’s not a bad thing, even if you’re unfamiliar with the style.

Guinness is one of the most well-known beers in the world, and the preeminent Irish stout. Thanks to the brewery’s enormous marketing outlay, they have completely co-opted any religious significance that St. Pat’s still had, effectively turning March 17th into “Guinness Day. But we can forgive them for the ruthless commercialism, because they do brew a fine stout.

Irish stout as a beer style evolved from the dark, malty porters brewed in England during the 18th century. As Porter’s popularity waned in the big island, it remained popular in Ireland until the latter half of the 1800s. Arthur Guinness, local Dublin brewer, modified the beer until it suited local palates, using darker malt and changing the hop balance to create a full-bodied, nearly black brew which was less sweet than its ancestor, and that’s more or less what we have today.

Irish stouts like Guinness are carbonated with nitrogen, not carbon dioxide, so the bubbles are smaller. This gives the beer its distinctive cascading foamy pour, full body, and creamy head. The strong roasted malt dominates the flavor, but it’s skillfully balanced by the hop bitterness. You’ll also detect a slight sour astringency in the aftertaste.

Naturally, Guinness isn’t the only Irish stout. Ireland’s second city, Cork, is home to the two other big brewers of the style: Murphy’s and Beamish. These two lack some of Guinness’ bitterness and retain a bit more sweetness. However, they’re going to be a lot more difficult (nigh impossible at the moment, actually), to find on draft here. They’re only available in nitrogen cans at your favorite specialty beer store.

The dark color and thick mouth feel of Irish stout often leads people to assume that the style is very strong and highly caloric. Actually, the opposite is true. The only thing that makes stouts dark is the fact that the malt has been darkened by the roasting process. The “thick” feel is due to the nitrogen carbonation. A 20 ounce imperial pint of Guinness contains around 210 calories, fewer than in a pint of orange juice. And at 4.2% alcohol by volume, it’s no stronger than a typical American lager.

So Irish stout may not actually be diet food, but with its beautiful visual and flavorful aesthetics, it might be just the beer to inspire your poetic muse, just like it did for James Joyce, Brendan Behan, and that guy from the House of Pain. We’ll leave you to your pint with an old Irish proverb:

May the wind always be at your back
May Celtic win the Champion’s League
May your pint always be fresh
And may the road rise up to meet you (but not too hard)

In other beers:

If you like bowling, and you like good beer, check out L&M Lanes on Merchant’s road by Culver. Two floors of bowling lanes, a steel-tip dart board, and an impressive array of taps make for a fun, social evening. Standouts from the beer menu include Victory Prima Pils and one of our favorites, Southern Tier Phin and Matt’s Extraordinary Ale. These beers are just the thing for when you’re swinging hard15-pound spheres by the tips of your fingers.

Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

The perfict pint pour?

When did St. Patrick's day expand to encompass the entire month of March?

Anyway, Fergal Murray, Brewmaster at the Guinness Brewery, has advaice on how to pour the perfect pint.

Not that it matters. Except for the visual aesthetics, I've never felt it mattered if you waited 10 minutes or just slopped the stout into your glass. But I'm in the minority on this one.

I'm also in the minority of people that don't think Guinness tastes any different in Ireland. I've had Guinness all over Ireland, including the obligatory pint in the Brewery's Gravity Bar. It all tastes like the Guinness back home. Sorry, Tourism Ireland, but it's true.

Craft beer- it's insdious!

I'm seeing an increasing amount of craft beer in places it never would have been found before. Blue-collar bars, chain convenience stores, bowling alleys, little divey restaurants- it's everywhere, and I like what I'm seeing.

It shows that craft beer isn't viewed as a snobby drink for geeky engineers anymore. It's a legitimate segment of the beer industry, and it's selling to consumers outside its traditional base. If this continues, the USA will be a great brewing nation indeed.

Relaxing on the Boulevard.

Last night was spent at Rochester's Boulevard Grill, drinking Ommegang Hennepin and wishing good luck to Ommegang's Chris Sayre as he leaves his glamour marketing job for a career in the bread industry.

The Boulevard is a pleasant surprise. Owners Mike and Rob are really committed to good beer, and have dedicated plenty of tap space to craft brews. Thanks guys, for some great conversation and great beer.

-Mark

Beer Blogging...er...Monday?

Beer blogging Friday is a joint effort by beer writers Webwide to blog on a specific topic. Last Friday, the topic was stout. I missed the first round, but it got me thinking.

Thanks to the power of marketing money, stout in the USA is synonymous with Guinness. The Irish giant owns St. Patrick's Day, and is now trying to create its own holiday.

Guinness typifies Irish stout. Dry, slightly sour, with a moderate alcohol content served, of course with nitrogen combination. A freshly-dispensed Irish stout, with its cascading tumult of bubbles and puddinglike head, is possibly the prettiest sight in the world of beer.

But the real gem of the stout kingdom comes from the other side of the Irish sea. From London, actually; the home of milk stout.

First brewed in the 1870s as a nutritional beer, Milk stout is sweeter and thicker in body than its Irish cousin. The brew contains lactose, which doesn't ferment and adds the extra sweetness.

Around the turn of the 19th century, Milk stout was a signature London beer, much like porter was during the 1700s. Like many English beers, however, the changing of tastes away from real ale led to the near extinction of the style. The style is more or less recrated by several American microbrewers, but it's more of a dabbling than a serious attempt to revive the style.

The most prevalent tradional example is Mackeson's XXX Milk Stout. The Mackeson company and its US distributors have done an admirable job in making this beer available, so you can probably find it in your favorite specialty beer store. It's a treat on a cold winter night.

I'll be sure to join in for the next round of Beer Blogging Friday. It'll be fun to read other's takes, and it's always easier to post an entry when someone else is thinking up the ideas!

-Mark

Beer- the Rodney Dangerfield of booze

I found This while reading the Brookston Beer Bulletin.

The trouble with referencing articles on the BBB is that J is so thorough in his writing. I can do little but add smartass comments. Stick to your specialty, I always say.

The original article is a typical "we need content- pronto" feature piece, done with conclusions already drawn, and backed up with zero research. I should know. I've written hundreds of pieces like that myself.

But that's fine when writing to an audience already predisposed to stick up their noses at beer. Wine snobs certainly aren't going to dig any more deeply. Hell, when you spend your adult life in restaurants which feature enormous wine lists and three shitty beer choices, you can be forgiven for developing a mindset in which beer is an inferior, unsubtle beverage.

The gastronomic community has done beer lovers a huge disservice, and Ms. Jordan's mindset as she writes her original article proves it. As Jordan writes:

While there are several different types of beer, most beer tastes relatively the same with some just not being quite as bad as others. Two different bottles of wine, however, can taste dramatically unalike. Wine drinkers are granted with the ability to pick from a variety of years, types, and flavors. They can choose red wine or white wine, wine from places as far as France or as close as Oregon. And, once engaged in a little wine tasting, wine drinkers can find a wine they really love.

That's not a malicious paragraph, it's an example of beer's marginalization in gastronomic circles.

Granted, craft beer has made huge strides, and the industry continues to grow at a healthy clip, but Ms. Jordan has show we have a long way to go.

Beercraft seminars, coming weekly to a pub near me!

Bruce and I have been asked by the management of Monty's Korner in Rochester, NY to put on a series of seminars that will introduce casual consumers to craft beer. We've agreed ('cause we get like a free pint, or something).

The first one will be held Thursday, March 8, at 7pm. In keeping with the season, we'll be talking about Irish stout. We'll briefly discuss the history and aspects of the style,then taste a range of Irish stouts. Everyone in attendance gets a free pint of Stout, too.

It's a casual focus, so we're not getting into the hardcore date: degrees Lovibond, IBUs, that sort of thing. Still, all are welcome and we hope to see you there.

-Mark

Beercraft newspaper column #34- The anatomy of beer

The anatomy of beer
By Mark Tichenor and Bruce Lish

I think we can all agree that beer in its modern form is the pinnacle of human achievement. But when it comes to educating the masses about beer, there’s still a long way to go. Not everyone’s a home brewer or beer connoisseur, so let’s take a look at what’s really in your pint glass.

Beer is simple yet complex, like Mexican food. There are only four main ingredients, but the variety of colors, flavors, and aroma is staggering. Today, we’ll talk about those ingredients and what they do.

First off, there’s the water. It might all be clear, but water varies in hardness, acidity, salinity, and proportion of mineral salts, and has a tremendous impact on the beer in which it goes. Great brewing towns like Munich or Burton-on-Trent have become brewing centers because the quality of the water in those areas was the best for brewing.

Interestingly, the water from Hemlock Lake is quite similar to the water in southern Germany, which is why many German brewers set up shop in the Flour City during the 19th century. With dissimilar H20, it would have been much more difficult to brew their beer to the style they were looking for.

Malted barley is the primary grain used in brewing. To make malt, the barley is germinated and then dried. This creates enzymes that convert the grain’s starch into fermentable sugar.

The germinated grain is dried in a kiln, and often roasted to various degrees. When you roast barley, it gets dark. That’s where dark beer comes from. Stouts like Guinness are made from barley that’s roasted until it’s almost black, whereas a light lager would use malt that’s just dried in the kiln.

Because of its sugar content, malt by itself would make for a very sweet beer. What’s needed is a flavor that balances that sweetness. That’s why we have hops.

Hops are a flower that stabilizes the beer and imparts bitter and floral characteristics. They also work as an antibiotic that kills microorganisms competing with the yeast. By themselves, hop flowers are oily and strong-smelling, and there are many types. The Saaz and Hallertau hops used in German beer differ noticeably in flavor and smell than the Fuggles and Goldings hops used in British ales. American IPAs often contain the piney Cascade hops from Washington State and Oregon.

For centuries, brewers combined these ingredients in various ways, adding a little beer from a previous batch, and then waited, and presto! New beer. It wasn’t until guys like Louis Pasteur came along in the middle of the 19th century that the function of the fourth essential ingredient, yeast, was understood.

Yeast is a microorganism that eats sugar and poops out alcohol. When introduced to the wort (as the freshly brewed pre-alcoholic beer is called), the yeast begins a wild orgy of gorging and reproduction, converting the sugars to alcohol until all that fuel is used up. Brewers can measure and control the sweetness and alcohol content by stopping the fermentation at the appropriate measurement.

As you’ve probably already guessed, there are multiple types of yeast, each with its own long, Latin name you probably don’t care about. Suffice it to say there are two categories: Top-fermenting and bottom-fermenting.

The top-fermenting yeast makes ale. It foams up on the surface of the wort, thriving at higher temperatures than its bottom-feeding cousin. Lager is made from the bottom-fermenting stuff. These yeasts need a longer, colder fermentation period, and impart a crisper taste.

Finally, there are adjuncts: Grains like rice and corn that are fermentable, but cost less than barley. American macro brewers use them to lower the cost of brewing so their shareholders can be happy. These grains also have their taste characteristics, as anyone who’s ever suffered through a warm Molson Golden can tell you, and give American light lager its signature flavor.

We don’t condemn the use of adjuncts, although our consumption of these beers is minimal. You drink what you like, and if you like Bud, than by all means, gulp away.

We, on the other hand, will be searching the internet for the definition of Reinheitsgebot.

Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

A surprise from Rohrbach

I gotta be honest. When Jen at Monty's Krown first told me about the Rohrbach Brewing Company Java's Espresso Stout (made with real Java Joe's coffee) they had on hand-pull, I was a little skeptical. Coffee can be overwhelming in beer when not used judiciously, and Rohrbach isn't exactly the best at the specialty ales.

But I tried a sample. I then ordered a pint.

The stuff is good. There's a nice coffee essence that doesn't domintate the flavor of the beer, followed up by a pleasant porter flavor that could probably use a bit more body, but went down nicely nonetheless. Thanks to Rohrbach for nailing down a first-rate pint.

-Mark

What makes a good beer bar?

First off... I got the sense from their last column that the Democrat and Chronicle's Beer Buddies are getting their homebrew hats on. They've been threatening to do so for over a year. Good luck, guys, and save some for us! We'll be gentle. We Swear!

Now, to the topic at hand. What makes a good beer bar? Is it as simple as the presence of good beer? I don't think that's enough. For a bar to earn the esteemed title Beer Bar from the esteemed likes of Bruce and myself, certain criteria must be met.

There must be a broad selection of styles.
A bar that features beer from 15 different craft breweries is great, but when each beer is an IPA, it tends to fatigue my taste buds. Show me something across the range. Have at least one good lager, a hearty stout, and, dare I suggest, something on hand-pull.

The staff must know what the f*ck they're talking about
Everyone doesn't have to be a zymurgist, but a basic knowledge of beer styles, flavor characteristics, and, most importantly, pronunciation is nice. I once tried to order a Kapuziner Hefe-Weizen. After a few minutes of back and forth, the server came back with "Oh, you mean Ka-PEW-zinn-er!"

Bartenders and servers, you can pronounce "chipotle" without a hitch. Why can't you take two minutes at the start of your shift to nail the pronunciation of what your customers are going to be asking for? Communication is a wonderful thing.

The place has to be comfortable
There's nothing worse than a stuffy beer bar. I'm fortunate to live in Rochester, which has some nice, knowledgeable pubs that fit (and sometimes smell) like an old shoe. In bigger cities, the places with the best selection tend to be huge and corporate, with 100% monthly staff turnovers and slick margarita menus. I can never feel at home in one of those places.

That's all it takes to make me happy. I just wish places like that weren't so rare.

An unlikely scenario, part two: Bruce's list

My top ten beers to have if I were stranded on a desert island.

Southern Tier Phin and Matts Extrordinary Ale
Zywiec Porter
Spaten Lager
Catamount 10th Anniversary IPA-(unfortunately no
longer produced)
Paulaner Hefe-Weizen
Bittburger Pils "Bitte ein Bitt"
Sheaf Stout
Tucher Bajuvator Doppelbock
AKTIEN - TÄNZELFEST
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale

Yup, that's right, 5 of 10 are from Germany
-Bruce

An unlikely scenario

Bruce and I were enjoying an excessive quantity of Spaten Marzen yesterday, and the conversation turned to beer, as it so often does. Gazing down a line of 85 taps, we discussed which brews sucked, which were great, and which were totally indispensable (and therefore should be most frequently dispensed).

Eventually, the dreaded question was asked. "If you were stranded on a desert island with only 10 beers, which ones would you pick?"

Now assuage the more literal-minded readers, this is a purely hypothetical question that does not take into account temperature, storage, or an other external factor. We'll just assume everything is perfect, every time.

Mark's top 10:

• Tucher Bajuvator Doppelbock
  
• Spaten Muenchner Hell
  
• Warsteiner Dunkel
  
• Pilsner Urquel
  
• Saku Baltic Porter
  
• Southern Tier Phin and Matt's Extraordinary Ale
• Sam Smith Oatmeal Stout
  
• Delirium Tremens
• Great Divide Titan IPA
• Fuller's ESB

For tomorrow, I'll try to get Bruce off his lazy ass and post his list. As always, I'm eager to hear your choices as well. Even if they're not as good as mine.

-Mark

In Liverpool...

It's time for the annual Real Ale Frenzy. 5000 tickets sold out in two hours. Not bad for a style that nearly died out in the 1970s. Thanks, CAMRA, for all your contributions over the years.

Hmm... I could do with a pint of Fuller's myself...

Blogger is driving me to drink

So I foolishly switched over to the 'new' google-powered version of blogger, and now everything's fucked up. All my extra code is gone. It'll take me a while to fix all this (and add a blog search engine).

In the meantime, I'll talk more about beer. Bruce and I hit the new Webster MacGregor's for the second time. They just opened on Super Bowl Sunday, and appear to be firing on all cylinders. 85 taps and a very friendly server named Amanda will surely be the latest cause of my ruin.

-Mark

I may be lame, but I'm not extreme

(actual conversation with a reader)

"Your blog is getting really lame."

"I know I haven't been posting a lot. What sort of stuff would you like to see in the blog that would bame it better?"

"Anything but what you're posting."

Well shit, with constructive criticism like that, I can really gauge what's on the minds of the beer-oriented public. Personally, I don't want to write a lame blog; there are enough of those out there already. But that's why comments are enabled.

After writing about beer on a regular basis for over a year, it gets tough to think of new topics and takes. There is nothing I'd like more than input and subject suggestions from readers, but it's pretty rare. On the day ebaum's world linked to us, we had 3400 visitors. 3 left a comment.

So please, dear faithful, I want to know what you guys are interested in. I need your ideas. A vague put-down doesn't exactly help me make things more interesting.

Let's use that rant as the worst segue in the world, and get to today's topic, which is the extreme beer debate. Over the last few years, the trend in microbrewing, and microbrew distribution, has been toward ludicrously strong, comically bitter beers that strangle you with hop vines and leave you unable to drive home. These Imperial Pilseners, Imperial IPAs Quadruple bocks, and dubbel barley wines are simultaneously being heralded as the new revolution in American craft brewing and the scourge of the beer culture.

Personally, I don't view beer as vehicle with which to demonstrate my machismo. I also don't see it as a bullet-train delivering alcohol to my bloodstream as rapidly as possible. If I need a fast buzz that badly, vodka would be the superior choice.

Beer is social. When I'm out with my friends, it's far preferable to order several glasses of a weaker "session" beer that's perfectly brewed to style than a rosin-saturated alcohol bomb.

I guess I just like my nights to last longer than twenty minutes. Hey barkeep! Another Pilsener, and make sure there's nothing imperial about it.

-Mark

Beercraft newspaper column #33- Oh Canada!

Canadian beer

By Mark Tichenor and Bruce Lish

One nice thing about living in Western New York is our proximity to another country. Although a trip to Canada won’t result in an overt amount of culture shock, there’s still a palpable difference on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. Highway signs read in kilometres. People as close as the opposite side of the Niagara River Gorge speak (and spell) with a noticeably different accent.

Canadians, however, gets overshadowed by its gargantuan neighbor to the south, and it has become something of a point of pride to nurture and develop all things Canadian in a quest for national and cultural identity. Bookstores in Canada showcase indigenous authors. U2 and Dave Matthews share the airwaves with the likes of Sloan, The Tragically Hip, and Spirit of the West. And then there’s the beer.

Whereas Americans have no problem making fun of our fizzy domestic lagers, Canadians tend to latch onto their brew with a fierce sense of civic pride. For the most part, Canadian mass-market lager is identical to ours, but it’s regarded as an expression of national culture by our friends north of the border.

And even though the Canadian beer industry has been gutted by takeovers, buyouts, and mergers, even though most Canadian beer has less character than Terrell Owens, even though there are some real duds (I’m talking to you, Alexander Keith’s “I.P.A.”), there are still some beers up there which really warrant a drive up to the duty-free shop.

Beers like Steam Whistle Pilsner. Brewed right at the base of Toronto’s CN Tower, in an old rail yard roundhouse that must have been murderously expensive to convert, Steam whistle has turned the microbrewery business model on its ear. They only make Pilsner, a technically demanding and comparatively expensive style to produce. They don’t have a restaurant or even a real bar, offering only tasting samples at the brewery.

What Steam Whistle does have is the best pilsner in North America. You could taste this, blindfolded, along with some of the finest from Czech and German pils, and have difficulty discerning which one comes from Canada. Now if only they’d start distributing in the friggin’ USA so we wouldn’t have to drive two hours to get our fix!

The other great Canadian brewery is Quebec’s Unibroue. They produce a range of excellent, mostly strong, francophonically-titled ales which are relatively common in this region’s beer bars. Our personal favorite is “Le Fin Du Monde,” which, roughly translated, means “Go Habs,” or something like that.

No, seriously, it means “The End of the World,” and that’s precisely what you’ll wish for if you drink this Belgian style strong ale to excess. A sweet, citrus aroma, rich tawny gold color, and peppery sweet flavor make it a sensual beer. The warm, alcoholic finish offers plenty of warning about what you’re getting into.

Le Fin du Monde is a fantastic pairing beer, a perfect complement to meat, sausage, and strongly flavored fish dishes. It would also go nicely with fruit-based desserts. However, at 9% alcohol by volume it’s most frequently, however, it gets paired with Ibuprofen, inappropriate comments, and the barroom floor.

These are just a couple prominent examples of what’s going on in Canada beyond the beer assembly lines of Molson and Labatt. There’s much more, and it’s best experienced on home turf in the frozen north (or frozen west, in our case). Personally, we feel that it’s important to get beyond all the stereotypes about Canada’s slightly socialist political stance, the idiosyncrasies of the Canadian accent, and their perceived obsession with hockey. What better way to do this than to go up and sample the nation’s beer?

Isn’t that what international cooperation is all aboot?

In other beers:

The Old Toad has just held a Beer and Dessert Pairing. Toad employee (and certified English girl) Katie Streets put together a five-course dessert flight, each cunningly paired with an appropriate, sometimes surprising beer. Among the highlights: Crème Brulee mated to Glenmorangie-infused Sam Smith Oatmeal Stout and Fresh Mint Chocolate chip Ice cream paired up with Brooklyn Chocolate Stout.

The desserts were made from scratch, the presentation excellent. It really highlighted the notion that beer is so much more than a buzz generator. Congrats to Katie and her fellow Toadies for going out on the limb,

Now if only they’d do a German beer and sausage pairing, but it’s doubtful that there’s much room for Old Jerry in this most English of pubs.

Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

Up or Downmarket? Michelob make up your mind

Michelob is getting a makeover, but A-B still doesn't get it.

The brew, long dubbed as "a beer for connoisseurs," has been made with imported hops, a high percentage of two-row barley malt and adjuncts like rice and corn. Those adjuncts will be gone from the new recipes. A new embossed teardrop bottle is intended to give Michelob a "worth more" look as it tries to stay in the super premium niche among imports and specialty brews. A-B had adopted the microbrew practice of creating seasonal beers—such as Michelob Seasonal All Malt Lager in 2004-05—and sample cases. Yet the redo is not intended to align Michelob with craft beers, say wholesalers. Rather the strategy is to bring the brand closer to its original roots and target, which is older consumers. Product literature describes the target as 28 to 54-year-old drinkers who might be drawn to a beer with "more robust malty body and distinctive hop character.

First of all, it's awesome that this venerable American brew is returning to an all-malt formula, losing the corn and rice adjuncts. I think this will really give the brewers a chance to demonstrate high quality in what's traditionally perceived as a low-qual market. We'll definitely be trying this one when it launches.

But their brand concept, as reported in the story, is schizophrenic. It's great that the beer is being aligned as super-premium, with appropreate media support, packaging, and the other trappings of sophistication, but how the hell can you do that in 2007 without aligning the product with craft beers? Isn't it because of craft beers that these changes in production and marketing become necessary in the first place?

Michelob's brand managers will say they want to compete with import Eurolagers, not domestic micros. Fine, I'll give them that. But then they shouldn't count on "bringing the brand closer to its original roots and target." Michelob is an American beer, positioned higher up the chain than Busch, Stroh's, or Bud, but still available in $5 pitchers at the local watering hole. It's not a beer people drink to savor. They quench with it. They chug it. They bounce ping-pong balls into it, and that's just the way it is.

Michelob is making a mistake with a two-pronged branding strategy. Either consolidate the brand as super-premium, pushing the reversion to all-malt brewing, or go retro and appreal to the more ironically minded.

Shooting for both is likely to get them neither.

-Mark

Bad beer

Bad beer

A random google search for "bad beer" revealed this fun little site. It's nice to know someone's paying homage to the swill you used to drink in college.

While this site pulls no punches in calling out sub-premium American lagers, I'd like to see it expanded to include bad craft beer (of which there is an unfortunate abundance). So c'mon, Satan165 and Mark Blackout, grab your trusty thesaurus and let it rip.

Let me know if you need some suggestions. I try to be nice on my own blog.

It's the ritual, stupid!

For a while, it looked like the Saints would rally. Although committing turnover after ridiculous turnover, the Bears' impotent offense, led by Rex "I swear, this has never happened to me before" Grossman were unable to put the game out of reach during the first half.

I'll spare the gory details of the game's latter parts. You already know them.

The point is, I once again found myself hanging out at a buddy's house in front of the big-screen TV, watching the violent committee meeting that is NFL football, and it made me think about ritual.

It's a term we tend to associate with church, but the fact is that people like structure, and they use the trappings of ritual in all parts of their lives: How they get ready in the morning, how they operate at work, how they shop, and even how they play.

A sport is, after all, a ritual. It follows rules, uses iconography and uniform, and (usually) takes place at predefined times and places. Therefore it shouldn't be a surprise that fans find their own way to participate in the ceremony.

For me, and many others, beer factors prominently into the event. If I'm watching German Soccer, I'm drinking German lager, usually a beer from the city where the game is being played. English soccer might see me slurping down a Boddington's, and, for American Football and Baseball, I prefer macrobrewed American lagers; the very stuff most beer geeks rail against.

Are they the best beers? No. But Budwiser and its ilk are part of the ritual. You don't have a 1996 Ducru Beaucaillou as the wine in church communion. Likewise, high-end beer just seems inappropriate and it screws up the ritual.

Hmm, maybe if Gatorade marketed a sports beer, we'd have the best of all worlds. It sure would look good being foamily poured all over a Super Bowl-bound coach.

Is this...barley wine??

Ran into Pete Malfatti, beer distributor extraordinaire last night. He opened the trunk of his car and passed me over some Lagunitas Hairy Eyeball.

He says it's a barley wine, Beeradvocate.com says it's an American strong ale. I says it's Friday and we'll find out tonight!

Beercraft newspaper column #32- Mainstream import lagers

Imprted Lagers- it’s a premium bland!
By Mark Tichenor and Bruce Lish

It’s actually pretty frustrating for beer lovers. Go into a fine restaurant and look at what beverages are available to complement your $40 entrée. There’s a wine list the size of the US Tax Code, but as far a beer is concerned, there’s the same old four brews the caterer supplied at your cousin’s Bar Mitzvah.

Some of us LIKE beer with our dinner, and while it may never be as hoity-toity as wine, it would be nice to see some of the wonderfully complex and worldly beers on the freakin’ menu from time to time!

Anyway, if you’re sitting down with your date, and you have to choose among the staple imports, allow us to break them down for you. If you’re picking up some euro lager for around the house, we’ve offered some suggestions you may not have considered.

Beck’s Lager, from the German town of Bremen, is the German analog of Budweiser and the most widely available German beer in the USA. It’s conspicuously clean-tasting and well balanced. You can taste both the malt foundation and a pleasant bitterness imparted by the hops.

These characteristics make Beck’s a good choice if you’re mowing the lawn, or if you’re flying to Germany in Lufthansa’s less-than commodious economy cabin (where it’s free). But if more character and flavor is desired, find some Spaten Lager or Jever Pils.

It doesn’t seem necessary to prove that Americans will buy anything, but Corona affirms the theory nonetheless. You have a Corona there? Oh goody. Let’s try a little experiment. Open the bottle…

Now take a sip without the lime.

See? Nasty, isn’t it? The fact that Corona is borderline undrinkable without the addition of Citrus fruit, coupled with its premium price, makes this Mexican import as favorite whipping boy for beer enthusiasts, many of whom have their own theories about how the brewery workers ‘produce’ this thin yellow lager.

Granted, with the lime, a Corona can go down nicely on a hot day, and you sure can drink ‘em fast, which explains their population among the frat boy ‘first real job’ professional set. But for a step up, try Pacifico or Sol. They’re also imported from Mexico but offer a bit more flavor and pleasant character.

The Netherlands, of course, weighs in with Heineken, another beer whose export success can be chalked up to marketing dollars. The chief gripe about Heiney is the skunky flavor. It’s caused by the green bottle, which unlike brown bottles don’t stop ultraviolet light. The UV breaks down the alpha acids in the hops, causing a chemical reaction which releases that skunk flavor.

The Heineken keg-cans, however, avoid the skunk problem; from a can, you can taste Heineken as it actually is: bland. No character, No real presence, a lackluster body, yet waaay over hyped, it is the Paris Hilton of beers. Still, it’s drinkable when you’re at that wedding to which you’ve been dragged. And you don’t know 80% of the people there, and the only person you want to talk to is the bartender who’s just popped you another Heineken , and, oh crap, they’re about to start ‘The Chicken Dance…’

Sorry, little flashback there. Anyway, for a better, more interesting Dutch beer, get some Grolsch. It’s more robust, with a pleasant sweetness, and it comes in a cool chunky bottle with a mechanical stopper- you can unseal and reseal the bottle as much as you want. Great fun!

We’re not saying these beers are the bottom of the barrel, but they’re engineered and marketed to stay firmly in the middle. We drink them, and enjoy them, but it behooves any beer enthusiast to look beyond the obvious and find the true great flavors and combinations.

Just like any good chef or sommelier should. Hint, hint!


Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

Beercraft newspaper column #30- Wild Styles

Three wild beers for a brand new year
By Mark Tichenor and Bruce Lish

It’s a new year, and in observance of that we have a new resolution: 1280 X 800.

Ha ha. That was a little computer joke. But seriously, one resolution all beer fans should make is to try something new. We all have our favorite brands and styles, but it’s a good idea to get out of the rut from time to time; you never know what you might be missing.

In this spirit, allow us to suggest three “must-try” beers for 2007. They’re wildly different styles, but will certainly go well together in your refrigerator.

First, we’ll talk porter. It’s best known as a British style, and most American producers keep their recipes faithful to the classic London archetype. But 18th century shipping of porter from England to Russia has left an indelible taste for this dark, substantial beer style all along the Baltic Sea. Breweries in Poland, Estonia and Mother Russia developed a sweeter, milder porter of their own.

You can find Baltic porter by breweries such as Okocim (Poland) and Baltika (Russia), but we’re going to recommend Saku, from the diminutive nation of Estonia. Thick and dark, with a light caramel sweetness and creamy body, Saku goes down well on a chilly evening. Be careful, though. At 7% alcohol by volume, Saku Porter could get you into trouble with the law or your spouse.

Crossing the Baltic to Finland, we find sahti, of the strangest and rarest beer styles in the world. It’s the last of the primitive European beers; the kind peasants drank before hops wore used in brewing. Sahti is made of barley and rye, and flavored with juniper twigs and berries.

Finland is pretty much a “drink at home” (or sometimes a “drink until you pass out on the ferry to Leningrad”) culture, so sahti remains a very uncommercial beer. To our knowledge, you won’t find the real stuff anywhere in the USA. You will, however, be able to get your hands on Helsinki Gold, from Vermont’s Otter Creek Brewing Company.

We can’t really vouch for this beer’s authenticity, but Helsinki Gold is a different and very pleasant beer in its own right. The juniper lends the beer a prominent citrus bite, and the rye malt imparts a distinctive aroma. It’s lighter in color and mouthfeel than we expected sahti to be, actually a pleasant drink for a sunny afternoon. As usual, Otter Creek has released an adventurous and excellent specialty beer.

Hopefully, some entrepreneur will wise up one day and send us the real sahti. Who knows? It could be the most interesting thing to come out of Finland since saunas, hockey goalies, and, uh, Finnish chicks.

We’ll wrap up this tour of unusual beer styles in the unbearably quaint town of Bamberg, Germany, where half-timbered houses, cobblestone streets, and medieval-esque guildhalls provide the setting for one of the world’s great “love-hate” beer styles: Bamberger Rauchbier.

“Rauch” is the German word for smoke, and we’ll let that serve as an ominous introduction to what’s about to be poured in your mental glass. It’s basically a dark, sweet Marzen-style German lager in which the malt has been smoked over a beech fire prior to brewing.

Some people think the resulting beer is fabulous. Others think it tastes like a sausage. Still, people flock to Bamberg in droves to sample the famous Rauchbier at the source.

Your best bet here in the USA is the tongue-mangling Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier. Don’t try to pronounce it, just point and the guy will get it off the shelf for you. Very rarely, you’ll find it on draft in specialty beer bars, but usually a trip to a good beer store, like Rochester’s Beers of the World, s necessary.

Lots of American craft brewers have taken a stab at making Rauchbier, but more often than not, it tastes more like a brewery fire than anything else. It goes to show that 800 years of monastic brewing tradition and technique do pay off in the end. If you’ve been put off by microbrewed smoked beers, go back and give the Schlenkerla a try before closing the book on the entire style.

So there you go. You have a whole year to try three of the most unique styles in all of beerdom. Pull it off, and you’ll be an expert amongst your friends, and gain the almost magical ability to be insufferable at parties. And even if you don’t go wild over these untraditional styles, at least you’ll have something against which to contrast the flavor of your favorite pint.

At any rate, we’d love to hear your opinions on these styles. Drop us a line. We’ll be drinking sahti. In the sauna.

Hopefully with the Finnish chicks.



Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

Life is good

It's Tuesday night, and I'm hanging at Monty's Krown, one of my favorite dive bars. The beer of the moment: Lagunitas IPA with it's sharp hop bite.

Since I happen to have my laptop with me, I'm taking advantage of this opportunity to be ultra-geeky and post to my blog while I'm still on the licensed premises. A hypocritical smile crosses my face as I think of the derision I'd heap on anybody else engaged in the same activity I am currently performing.

Anyway, Wi-fi is one of the greatest things to ever happen to the social beer lover. It lets me hang out, drink beer, and attract tons of chicks with my awesome 1337 B33R Sk111z. And if you're doing real work, it just flows faster in a bar instead of a wussy-ass cafe.

-Mark

Visitation spike

Wow, over 3500 hits in 24 hours. It's amazing what a link from Ebaum's world can do.

As long as I have all of you here, why not tell us something about the beer you like? Anything you love or hate? Any great beer travel experiences?

Come on, we're all on the edge of our seats!

The best beer under $10

I live in Genesee country.

Although I mostly write about craft beers, premium German imports, and microbrews, it's important to remember that the beer economy rides on a wave of North American megabrewery lager. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I drink it too.

For my money, the best mainstream American Lager is still Genesee. Call it regional pride if you want, but I'm all about the Genny. They'd all but given up the ghost in the national market, but the brewery is primed for a resurgence.



Plus, hipster dudes, Genesee has the virtue of being every bit as ironic as your trucker hats, '70s T-shirts, clunky glasses and oversculpted cowlicks. Next time you're out, try one instead of the PBR you're otherwise going to order.

-Mark

Make a splash on New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve is a funny night. People celebrate a transition; a passing from the old to the new. Yet we do so with the same old, tired routines year in and year out. We go to parties. We watch the ball drop on television. We have a champagne toast at midnight. Zzzzzzz.

Why not change it up a little and really make a splash? Instead of champagne, toast with beer!

Not just any beer; what could be more depressing than a crystal flute full of Coors Light? Fortunately, the country of Belgium brings us several choices that could easily replace champagne and cast you in a very sophisticated light to the ladies. Try one of these:

• Lindeman's Framboise raspberry Lambic


• Lindeman's Kriek Cherry Lambic


• Duvel


• Orval Trappist Ale


• Any of a hundred other Belgian pale or strong ales.

These beers do not taste like beer from other nations. They're more effervescent and complex, with that Belgian floral character so many North American breweries fall short of replicating. The lambics, flavored with fruit, are especially popular with the fairer sex.

So this New Year's Eve, introduce people to a new range of tastes, score some sophistication points, and enjoy the flavor of some of the world's most unique brews. You just might spare yourself that champagne hangover in the process.

In with the old, out with the new indeed.

-Mark

Michael Shea's discontinued

I hadn't realized it, but Michael Shea's Irish Amber has been oficially discontinued by the High Falls Brewing Company.

Hey, Shea's wasn't a great beer, but it did have the virtue of being introduced to the market around the time of my 21st birthday. I was young and financially challenged, and a twelve of Shea's was a decent value for the money. Plus, it was tastier than Killians Red (of course, so is greyhound vomit).

Of course, when Shea's was introduced, craft brews were extremely rare on store shelves. As the craft brewing industry grew, poor Michael Shea's was eclipsed by high-quality reasonably priced pale ales from brewers like F.X. Matt (Saranac), Otter Creek and Magic Hat.In bars, Guinness has been flexing its marketing muscle, throwing up Harp and Smithwicks taps left and right. The poor Rochester brew got squeezed out of its own market.

Maybe this weekend, we'll have a good pseudo-Irish wake for this mediocre pseudo-Irish beer. I'm sure we can still scrounge up one of the few remaining cases.

Or maybe I'll have a Smithwick's instead.

-Mark

Temperature

"Europeans drink their beer warm."

How many times have you heard that statement? How many time have you uttered it? This is one of those misconceptions that drives some of the more...strident beer geeks crazy.

Some ale styles need a higher serving temperature to release all their flavors. By contrast, lagers taste better when served a little colder. American light lagers can be chilled to near freezing if you want...it's not going to make much difference.

Realbeer.com has a brief guide to proper serving temperatures. Believe me, it makes a difference.

The naughty elf has been sampled.

My local has been carrying the "Bad Elf" series of Christmas beers that the NYS Liquor Authority tried to ban. They're excellent.

Getting the band back together

You heard it here first! There's change a brewin' at the High Falls Brewing Company.

You can expect the Rochester regional (maker of J.W. Dunedee, Honey Brown, and Genny Cream Ale) to refocus on what used to be its core brands: Genesee Beer and Genny Light.

These working-class beers built that brewery into the fifth-largest in the country, but have fallen by the wayside over the last decade as the company's sales philosophy changed. The success of Yuengling and Pabst Blue Ribbon among young, hip drinkers, however, is spurring a relaunch of these stalwart American beers.

Expect an upgraded brand image, new art and packaging styles, and the same old American adjunct lager taste. Hey, it beats the hell out of Budweiser. Remember, "Geneseeing is Believing."

-Mark

Off-topic: humor column

I was planning to post this week's newspaper column, but, since it's been bumped, we're gonna have to do something different. This is my annual Christmas column that published this week

Last-minute shopping
by Mark Tichenor

There’s nothing more galling than wandering through the refugee camp that is a shopping mall around Christmas, looking for, well, anything, really, that will relieve you of your social obligation and let you get on with your life. In this situation, it’s important to remember what the holiday spirit is all about.

You see, gift-giving isn’t just about the joy of getting, there’s also the pleasure inherent in giving a present. But sometimes we find ourselves in the awkward position of having to gifts to people we don’t care about, barely know, or dislike.

A friend of mine once received a quesadilla maker. You know, those revolting little melted-cheese tortilla sandwiches you find on the appetizer menu at Denny’s? A frying pan seems like the perfect implement, should anyone get the desire to whip a batch up in their own kitchen. But he got a specialized, hinged tool, the only possible purpose of which is to make quesadillas. Not waffles. Not pizelles (whatever those are). Just quesadillas.

Needless to say, the thing remains unopened five years later, but, like all crappy gifts, it’s still hanging around taking up space in his closet.

I took a lesson from this. When you must give gifts out of obligation, you might as well enjoy yourself.

This year, why not give the gift that says “I dare you?” I dare you to frown when you open this. I dare you not to force a smile and embrace me with a big thank-you hug. I dare you not to use this gift, but I also dare you to try and use it.

As noted above, specialty cooking appliances are a great place to start. A whole range of products are available to, theoretically, enable the creation of all kinds of wonderful foods right there in your friend’s kitchen. Why, if correctly equipped, they could create a whole delicious meal! Quesadillas as an appetizer, followed by hearty fajitas, made on the purpose-designed fajita grill.

After the main course, You can make some homemade yogurt in the yogurt maker (step 1: add yogurt) as a palate cleanser before moving on to runny, semisolid homemade ice cream or smores, made in (I swear this exists) their very own smore-making apparatus.

Following the meal, it’s time for some holiday cheer, so everyone can gather around the cascading beverage fountain (word of caution, it foams over if you fill it with beer).

No print column this week

Well, the Beercraft column has fallen victim to the crass commerce of the season. A large last-minute ad has bumped us off the page, so my fevered 6am typing was kind of in vain.

The column will be back next week, and we'll use the downtime to do some actual research and write something insightful for a change. As always, questions and column ideas are welcome.

-Mark

Santa's Butt ban lifted

Local beer fan John Schmidt reported over on Beer Advocate that TV media has picked up on the banned importation of certain Christmas beers into New York State.

It's good to see that common sense has prevailed and the prohibition was lifted. Shelton bros, enjoy the sweet taste of free publicity!

Oh for chrissake, gimme a freakin' break!

I had no idea this drama was unfolding.

What's the real motivation here? Banning these six beers because their labels could be appealing to children is illogical and inconsistent with the way the Liquor Authority handles other brands of booze.Is someone trying to punish the brewers of these beers?m If so, why?

Face it, no matter how attractive these labels are, they're nothing on a bottle of Captain Morgan with its loveable pirate. And what's a kid more likely to find in daddy's stash, a six-pack of some obscure microbrewed seasonal Christmas ale, or an 80-proof fifth of the good Captain?

Memo to the Liquor Authority. Kids don't give a fuck what is on the label of their illicit alcohol. They're not going to stand outside the Piss N' Pay trying to cajole some hood into buying them "Bad Elf Barley Wine" at $10 a six-pack. They'll be gunning for the CASE of Golden Anniversary retailing for $5. The idea that underagers will prefer this stuff over whatever else is cheap and easy is stupid.

They just want to get drunk and be cool. Just like we did. But now, I, at 35, want a bottle of Bad Elf. Guess I'd better head off to Massafreakin'chusetts.

I guess it's 'happy anniversary.'

The next issue of the Beercraft column will mark one year of print publication, although somehow we've managed to write 29 of the biweekly rants (hey, I was an English major, not a math prodigy). Thanks to everyone who's taken time out of their day to glance at the blog or read the column.

We now look forward to another year of thinking up beer-related shit that's fit to print. Cheers!

Beercraft newspaper column #28- Porter

Porter- dark, deep and delicious

It all started with a wives’ tale.

As the story goes, beer drinkers of the mid-seventeenth century had peculiar tastes. In order to get the proper flavor, nutrition, and alcoholic kick to their pint, a customer would order ‘three-threads,’ a mélange of three different ales from three separate casks. As you can imagine, when running a busy alehouse, this was just time-consuming enough to be annoying for the pourer. It was also expensive, as it necessitated the brewing of three different types of beer just to sate the desires of a single drinker.

Enter one Ralph Harwood, a brewer who, according to legend, made a palatable replacement for three threads at his brew house in 1722. He called his beer “entire butt” (shut up), to represent the completeness of his one brew.

Supposedly, his beer caught on with the porters of the day who, unlike the ones you’ll encounter in fancy hotels, actually carried through the streets all the crap that made Georgian London function properly. Being cerebral types, they came up with a name that captured all the subtle nuances of this nutritious, strong beer: ‘porter.’

While the story makes fantastic marketing copy on the back of a bottle label, it’s actually pretty dubious. Still, there’s no denying that heavy, dark porter was the dominant beer style sold in London from the mid 18th century until the mid 1800s. Then it vanished.

Oh, not overnight, but advances in the science of brewing made possible the creation of lighter bodied (and lighter hued) beers with more subtle and refined flavors. In essence, beer made a jump in sophistication, and there ain’t no place for coach passengers in the first-class lavatory. By the end of the 19th century, pale ale and IPA were king, and porter had all but disappeared.

No one really made the stuff until the microbrew movement of the 1970s, when the eager brewers dusted off the old history books in the desire to make anything that wasn’t Schlitz. Soon, beer taps were flowing with the chewy opaque black beer once again, and the beerophiles celebrated.

Then the beerophiles took an Aspirin.

Then the beerophiles celebrated anew, and the party continues today. Porter is now a mainststay of most craft breweries, and there’s a huge variety from which to choose. Might we offer a couple of humble suggestions?

Custom Brewcrafters Double Dark Cream Porter, from Honeoye Falls NY, is the best beer that brewery makes. As the name would imply, it’s very dark, but the taste is sweet with a bit of nuttiness and a clean finish. CB’s isn’t a light-bodied beer, and its hefty mouthfeel make it a fine winter warmer.

A couple of places around Rochester, notable Monty’s Krown, Monty’s Korner and The Old Toad, offer Double Dark on hand-pump, carbonated with nitrogen instead of carbon dioxide for a silkier, more complex draught.

A great way to fortify yourself before camping in front of a Best Buy for a Playstation 3 or a Wii or whatever the hell you’re out there for is to drink a big imperial pint of Stone Smoked Porter. It comes from the consistently excellent Stone Brewery of California, and sports a somewhat chocolate/coffee flavor with a smoky intensity that doesn’t overpower the flavor of the beer itself.

The best thing about Stone Smoked Porter is its complexity. Smoking the malt in a kiln gives it a bit of a woody essence, and it finishes dry. Each lingering sip will unveil new flavor notes, but, as we’ve discovered, huge slobbering gulps of this beer are satisfying as well.

Finally, there’s the limited-run Brooklyn Smoked Porter, currently on tap at The Old Toad. It comes with an international pedigree. Brewed by Brooklyn’s Head brewer, Garrett Oliver, in Sheffield, England, at the award-winning Kelham Island Brewery, the porter is an intriguing blend of dark roasted malt and mocha flavors.

Maybe it’s the English brewing conditions, or just Oliver cutting loose, but this porter is one of the finest seasonals the Brooklyn brewery has yet produced. As is the tragedy with all such beers, it’s in a very limited run. So hurry up.

Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

How to slaughter a Monday

I love my job.

The ability to create my own weekly schedule (as can Bruce and our buddy Carl; we all work for the same company) allows the opportunity to gt the best out of the worst day of the week. Instead of spending Mondy toiling for "The Man," the three of us hopped in the Element and headed to Syracuse for a quick pub crawl to Clark's Ale House and The Blue Tusk.

Aside from the incredibly irritating crazy Lady babbling away inside Clark's, we had so good a time that we were able to forget it took place in Syracuse. Middle Ages Wizard's Winter Ale, Stone Smoked Porter, and Young's Double Chocolate Stout more than made up for the insanity of the moment.

It amazes me, not only that two of the country's best beer bars are in a crummy town like Sorrycuse, but also that they're within a block of each other. I dunno, it just seems like an odd distribution. At any rate, they can have my Mondays any day of the week.

-Mark

Gems of the week

Ithaca Brewing Company Gorges Porter is a delicious beer. It's a smoked porter that doesn't overdo the smoke. You get an opaque black, sweet, mellow beer with a dry and complex finish.

Had I not been eating the world's hottest chicken wings, I would have ordered a second pint.

Boston Redux

What better way to spend a three-day weekend than by travelling to the nation's most historic city - a city saturated with culture and academia - and swilling a bunch of beer?

That's how I roll.

We spent a pleasant evening last night in John Harvard's Brew House. It's not the best microbrew I've had, but it's pretty good, and the oatmeal stout was pretty on-style and had a tantalizing oak-aged flavor, the source of which I know not.

Who knows what tonight shall bring. On my last trip, the Beer Works was a pleasant surprise, so perhaps another visit to Landsdowne Street is in order. Since you're undoubtedly on the edge of your seat, I'll keep you posted.

Oh, and I bought a new car. It may be funny-looking, but it's perfectly suited for travelling to far-flung destinations and bringing home case upon case of interesting beer.

-Mark

On vacation

I'm in Boston for the next three days. Expect a boozy update on Monday.

-Mark

Boss Blogs, Brit Beer and Books

My buddy Mike Cialini, obviously inspired by the excellent blog you are currently perusing, has posted his first beer review.

Actually, Mike's blog, Leave the gun, take the cannoli, is one of my favorites. His grammar and spelling are an affront to the English language, but the man has a gift for over-the-top satire. Most priceless is his near-pathological disdain for the sport of soccer.

Enough pimping my friends. I've been reading a book called Beer, The Story of the Pint, by one Martyn Cornell. It's a well-researched look at how the brewing industry in Britain developed up from Celtic times.

As a lover of the Teutonic brews, I Sometimes tend to dismiss British beers offhand. Reading about their development and place in society makes me want to dive back in and explore the gamut of milds, bitters, stouts, and pales that come from the isles. Look for my oh-so-fascinating insight in future posts and columns.

-Mark

Beercraft newspaper column #27- Beer and football

Beer and football, the classic pairing

Beer and football go hand-in-hand for many fans, and probably for some players. Every Sunday, all across the nation, couch cushions are compressed by our giant American butts, and thousands of kitchens reverberate with the repeated thudding of refrigerator doors as we repeatedly consume the unofficial beverage of football. Today, your trusty beer writers will help you with your beer needs, so you can score a “touchdown” with your buddies.

When having people over for the game, it’s important to choose your beer wisely. So let’s look in the “playbook.” How many people? You might choose a lower-priced brand for economy of scale. How cold is it outside? Perhaps a stronger, more warming imperial stout or doppelbock is in order. Are the Bills playing? You might want to grab something extremely low in alcohol for when your guests attempt to drown their sorrows.

We’re of the firm belief that sporting events and beer snobbery don’t mix. You can drink the finest Belgian trappist ale, but casting scorn upon one of your buddies for popping open a Coors Light is “unsportsmanlike conduct.”

In order to please everyone, why not get a mixed case of microbrew? Lots of breweries, including Saranac, Magic Hat, and the High Falls Brewery, have variety packs that mix several styles. That way light and dark beer lovers alike can “play the option,” without “encroaching, ” and you don’t have to “scramble” to please a finicky palate.

Of course, the food you serve along with the beer has something to do with the quality of the afternoon. Bean dip is nice, but then you risk an “offensive backfield” and possibly a “pass rush.” We recommend pizza, which goes better with beer than any other foodstuff. But not that thick sicilian crap that’s like biting into a sponge with sauce and cheese on it. Keep it nice and thin, New York City-style, and you’ll stay “in bounds” with your friends, and not suffer a “Forward pass thrown from behind the line of scrimmage after ball has already crossed the line of scrimmage.”

Whew. Even though football may have a lot of rules, beer drinking has refreshingly few. The cameraderie, the excitement, and the flavor of a fine brew almost make up for the abysmal play of J.P. Loss-Man and company. We’ll leave you now to enjoy the game, dole out the high-fives, and come up with your own stupid puns.
Although, now that we think about it, why should you have to buy all the damn beer anyway? It’s your house, isn’t it? Those guys are going to come over and not even take off their shoes, tracking dirt all over the carpet you just vacuumed (or not, if you’re us). They’ll plop down on your couch, scratching themselves and putting their feet on your coffee table. And will they bring any beer? Noooooo. But you open your fridge and they’ll be all over it like a hipster on a Pabst Blue Ribbon. Some friends you have!

Be smart about it. Go over to someone else’s house and be an abuser of hospitality rather than a victim. To alleviate a portion of the ill will you’ll generate, bring along a six-pack of something wonderful, like Phin & Matt’s Extraordinary Ale from the Southern Tier Brewing Company, or Long Trail Brewing’s Hit the Trail Ale. Just stay away from the Candian stuff. They do for beer what they did for the game of Football. Oh, and make someone else drive you home. That way you can get there in relative “safety.”

Sorry, we couldn’t resist.

Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

The Boardman Street Brewery will open soon.

It's getting to that time of year where my Beercraft partner, Bruce, opens the homebrewery. He and fellow berewer Bob Thomas make the best homebrew I've yet tasted (sorry, Pat, yours is good too). As a former commercial brewer, you'd pretty much expect that from Bruce.

I've been on the fringes of homebrewing, stirred a couple of kettles, that sort of thing. I've never really wanted to get deeper into the hobby. Maybe it's the six hours of weekend required to brew a batch, or maybe it's the long wait between brewing and consuming. Most likely, I've been spoiled by having Bruce's excellent beer at my fingertips, with little to no effort on my part.

Anyway, we're probably going to take a look at homebrewing in some upcoming columns, so if it's something you've been thinking about trying, feel free to use us as a source of discouragement.

-Mark

Beercraft newspaper column #26: Women who love craft beer

What could be more of a guy thing than beer? Kicking back with a few brewskis is practically a ritual in the Cult of Guydom, along with belching and the scratching of one’s personal regions. Women go for froo-froo mixed drinks, alcopops (like Smirnoff Ice), or wine.

Actually, that’s not necessarily the case. Most women enjoy a cold one as much as any guy. And now, an increasing number of women are discovering, and brewing, craft beer. “Out of the 83 members of the Upstate New York Homebrewers’ Club, 8 are women,” says Kira Barnes, homebrewer and certified female.

Barnes, a cataloging librarian at RIT, brews beer and hard cider along with her husband, Thomas. The two of them are currently studying to become judges in the Beer Judge Certification Program. Upon completion of this surprisingly difficult course, Barnes will be sanctioned to judge beer competitions on a national level.

Not all female beer lovers aspire to such goals; a bunch of them, like Helen Bravenec of Austin, Texas, just like to swill beer. Bravenec, a violinist earning her Master’s Degree at Eastman, used to drink Miller Light, Coors Light, and other mass-market offerings. It was when she moved to Belgium that she started drinking the flavorful stuff.

Many women first develop a taste for lighter, sweeter beers. The fruit-flavored Belgian lambics are popular among the XX-chromosome set, as are witbeers like Hoegaarden and Blue Moon. But an increasing number like to delve into hoppier or more robust brews as well.

“I like my beers just slightly bitter,” Bravenec says, “but not over the top.” She lists Otter Creek Copper Ale, Pilsner Urquell, and good ol’ Saranac Pale Ale as some of her favorites.

Barnes prefers the more strongly and strangely flavored brews. Berliner Weisse, Okocim Baltic Porter, Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout, and the laughably strong EKU 28 all have a place in her pantry.

She points out that, like wine, a good beer appeals to more than one of the senses. “A beer has to be more than flavorful for me to like it,” Barnes explains. “If it's a style that's supposed to be clear, it should have good clarity; it should be pleasant to drink from the initial aroma to the aftertaste.”

So is craft beer finally getting its due with women? Barnes thinks so, and actively advocates for beer among her fellow females. “I was at a get-together in Kansas City with a woman who was drinking Michelob Ultra. She mentioned something about liking beer but having to stick to the low-cal stuff. I suggested she try New Belgium Skinny Dip, a summer seasonal brewed with coriander and lime leaves, which was only about 90 calories a bottle. She actually wrote it down, so I hope she followed up on it.”


In Other Beers:
The first, and hopefully not the last, Real Beer Expo took place on Alexander Street this past weekend. Festival organizer Joe McBane brought together what’s probably the largest sampling of cask-conditioned ale the area has ever seen. Altogether, 20 breweries had sampling tables.

Events like this are a perfect way to get your feet (and tonsils) wet if you wants to expand your range of tastes. They give you a little glass, and you just hold it out at each brewery table for them to fill. It’s kind of like…a beer buffet! Beerfet? Anyway, it’s a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon, and you learn a lot.

The fall season has brought with it the usual resurgence of pumpkin ales. These are brewed with actual pumpkin, and can be quite nice as a change of pace. The best ones, like Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale, have a nice cinnamon-clove essence. The lesser examples taste like someone scraped a pumpkin pie plate into your beer. Still, for a once a year thing, we can deal with a bit of excess.



Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com.

Ale Expo wrap-up

From my view as a patron, the Real Ale Expo was an unqualified success. Not a huge crowd, but you'd kind of expect that for an outdoor evening festival in the autumn, the focus of which was cask-condition beer.

Still, there was a great variety, and the lighter crowd made for little to no waiting for your pour. I particularly enjoyed the cask condtioned Phin and Matt's Extraordinary Ale from the Southern Tier Brewing Company.

So thanks, Joe, for putting together a great evening. I'll be disappointed if you don't repeat the Expo next year.

-Mark

Rochester Real Ale Festival

Joe McBane, bar manager from the Old Toad, has busted his ass to put together an ambitious project with potentially amazing results. The Real Beer Expo will take place on Saturday, October 21st, from 5-10pm.

This is huge. Real ale enjoys a cult following in the US, but still exists way out of the mainstream. This is the traditional "English Pint" style of ale that's carried over since before the Victorian Era. This is authentic ale, the way it was drank by the great people of our time: Naturally carbonated, not overchilled, cloudy with sediment.

20 craft brewereies will be represented under the tent in the lot behind the Sibley Building. If you're a fan of real ale, welcome to paradise. If you've never tried it, Isn't it time those horizons expanded a bit?

Avery Stout- completing the circle

Lately, I've found myself caught in a craft beer loop, a comfort zone with a circle of four or five micros to which I return again and again. It's still a decent variety, and I've grown to trust the quality of these breweries.

Last night, however, I happened upon a draft pull of Avery Stout from Colorado's Avery Brewing Company, and it was a treat. The beer is nutty and chewy, with a strong roasted flavor and enough body to back up what the opaque mahogany color and full aroma suggest.

Come to think of it, I've never had a disappointing Avery beer. I guess there's always room for my circle to get a little larger.

-Mark

Friday's overrated beer: Stella Artois

On the surface, Stella Artois comes across as ironic- a mass-market light lager among a nation of ancient and singular beers, owned by InBev, a brewing juggernaut among farmhouses with vats in them.

But if you spend any time in Belgium, you'll see that the folks really like their Artois. Stella and inBev co-owned lager Jupiler make up the vast percentage of Belgian beer sales. I guess you can't drink Tripel every day.

Until the mid '90s, Stella was rare around these here parts. Times change, however, and now the beer is brewed in Canada and pumped to us through large-diameter pipelines, or so it would seem based on how quickly Stella has saturated the American market.

In truth, it's a pretty good beer. Fresh-tasting, with a grassy finish, Stella mekes a great summer cooler. But what makes it overrated is the same thing that makes it ironic: Stella rides the reputation of the Belgian brewing tradition- a tradition which, at least in its modern incarnation, the beer completely ignores.

Off topic: What is a fan?

My buddy Mike Cialini turns in a great analysis of Yankee Fans on his blog.

Being a true Yankee fan is more difficult than being a diehard supporter of any other team. Sure, it's great when they win, and we get substantially more to cheer about than anyone else's fans, but with each playoff exit, the torment that Yankee Fan has to endure by the smug and the envious is a heavy cross to bear.

Thing is, I could've been a fan of any team. My dad introduced me to major league baseball when I was six. He could've taken me to Exhibition Stadium, to kindle a following of the Blue Jays. He could've taken me to Three Rivers and I'd be bleeding Pirate...er... brown? yellow? But no, he took me to the Bronx, to see the team he had followed since the days of Mantle, Howard and Berra. He took me into the upper deck of the most amazing place I've ever been in my life.

Ths week has been harder on Yankee fans than most. The chemistry seems to be gone, or at least that's how the media portrays it. Joe hung on to his job by a D-train strap, A-rod had a season most players would kill for and is being inexplicably run out of town on a rail. And then Corey. As a student pilot myself, I can only say trust me, he died doing something he loved.

Now, back to the consumption of beer.

-Mark

Beercraft newspaper column #24- Learning about craft beer

An adventure in flavor: learning about craft beer

By Mark Tichenor and Bruce Lish

Perhaps you’re new to the world of craft beer, but would like to learn more. Perhaps you aim to be an authority on craft beer. Perhaps you’ve been saying to yourself, “I would like to become known around the pub as an insufferable, pompous jerk; the kind of patron that bartenders want to hit with a tap handle.”

No seriously, while those folks exist, most people are capable of developing a taste for craft beer and still maintain a pleasant cameraderie with their fellow drinkers. And the jump from big-brewery lagers to flavorful micros is actually comortably short.

Most craft beer newbies, however, run into two obstacles. One is taste aversion. Lager from national breweries is brewed to be consistent and palatable to millions of people, so they strive to make their appealing to the lowest common denominator. In contrast, microbrewed beer is avaiable in a bewildering array of styles, flavors, and strengths.

People just discovering craft beer also have to deal with myriad preconceptions, some based in fact and some absolute nonsense. It’s commonly assumed that all craft beer is stronger than the canned stuff, or that Bock beer is made from the leftovers scraped out of the kettles or that all English beer is served warm.

Ten minutes of conversation with an experienced bartender, or with the guy shoving the dolly at Beers of the World, will be enough to get you started separating beer fact from beer fiction. More adventurous people will just jump right in and dispel the myths with their tastebuds.

And a good place to start is with brown ale, a style that served as the training-wheels beer for lots of people in the know. It’s a darker, slightly sweet British style with very little bitterness. You can find plenty of different examples, from the imported Newcastle Brown to various examples from regional microbreweries. Brooklyn Brewing Company’s Downtown Brown ale is a flavorful standout, as is Long Trail Brewing’s Hit the Trail Ale.

Brown ale might wind up being your thing, or you might grow bored with the style’s relative blandness and long for beer with a bit more bite. So try pale ale. Expect a rich amber color, a floral aroma, and substantially more hop bitterness than brown ale.

The most famous example, of course, is Bass Ale. It’s available everywhere, and still sets the world standard for pales, even though you can find tons of imported and American microbrewed pales that blow it out of the water.

Pale ales are, in fact, one of the most common microbrewed styles. American hops lend a flavor that’s noticeably different from the British stalwarts. A nice example is Dale’s Pale Ale from Colorado’s Oskar Blues Grill and Brewery. You’ll know it when you see it on store shelves; it’s one of the few microbrews available in cans. You might also find yourself faced with a cool bottle of Fat Angel, from Vermont’s Magic Hat Brewing Company, and that’s not so bad on a brisk autumn day.

Once you’re enjoying these beer styles (could take a few pints, could take a few sips), the pantheon of craft beer will be a pleasure to explore. One of the best things about tasting beer is the staggering variety of flavors and styles. We, as drinkers, owe a great debt to craft brewers who constantly experiment, tinker with their recipes, and develop entire new styles of our favorite beverage. It never gets old.

Bruce is a certified beer judge and former commercial brewer. Mark owns a laptop and likes beer. For more on beer, check out the beercraft blog, updated regularly, at http://beercraft.blogspot.com. Send your questions, suggestions, or comments to beercraft@rochester.rr.com

Quiz night at The Old Toad

As is the custom in many English-type pubs, The Old Toad features a weekly quiz. I'm siting in its midst.

"Oh fun," you say. "A barroom trivia quiz." how much lighthearted entertainment that must provide.

Excuse me while I upchuck.

The Old Toad's quiz is like taking your SATs. The questions are impossible (Who was the Prime Minister of Portugal from 1832-1841, etc.) It takes an hour to administer a 20 question examination. It takes a second hour to review the friggin' answers.

And the quiz takers are more competitive than, well, something really competitive. They're all grad students and shit, and hair is removed from scalps after every incorrect answer.

Bottom line, it's a fun evening, providded you're two bars away.

Oh, by the way

I had a pleasant surprise at The Old Toad Thursday night- a brief coversation with Garrett Oliver, head brewer for Brooklyn Brewing and the author of The Brewmaster's Table.

People were practically elbowing me out of the way to hang with the G-man, possibly the only "brewing celebrity" on the micro scene, but I was able to briefly discuss Brooklyn Blonde Bock, which is pretty darn good. Nice to see the guy makes it to the sticks every now and then.

-Mark

Friday's overrated beer: Beck's

I've long had a personal bias toward German beer. My favorite styles, and the best examples thereof, come from Germany and the Czech Republic. For all of it's worldwide brand presence and high sales numbers, however, Beck's does not fare well in comparison with its teutonic competition.

This flagship of the German brewing industry is not a bad lager, but there isn't a single reason for it to enjoy such worldwide acclaim besides marketing dollars. Hundreds of other German lagers sport a more rounded malt character and better hop balance, but you'll never find them outside of Europe.

Beck's can usually be found at restaurants and bars that need premium a premium beer menu, but don't want to put a lot of energy into it. It's on the shelf next to Heineken, Sam Adams, Corona, and Bass. While I'd certainly chose Beck's out of that police lineup of beers, All I'd be able to focus on while sipping is "Man, this stuff is overrated."

-Mark.

P.S. Happy Birthday to me.

Ideas, ideas, ideas.

OK, so I have to write a beer column that's due today. No problem. I work well under deadline pressure, and it's not too dificult to bang out 800 words of reasonably coherent prose.

But I lack the one necessary ingrediant: a topic.

So I'm calling upon anyone who A. likes beer, B. has happened across this blog, and C. is bored to such a profound degree that they'll take the time to hit the "comment" button and suggest a beer-related topic.

It's your unproductive work day. Make it count.

-Mark

Beer in Buffalo

We're going up to Buffalo tonight to see one of my favorite bands, Bettie Serveert, who've come all the way from The Netherlands to do a US tour.

While we're there, we'll get the opportunity to hang in some Buffalo beer bars. Now I have to make decisions. The Pizza Plant? Maybe the Pearl Street Grill & Brewery?

Ah, screw it. Wherever we wind up, I intend to fill myself with beer from Flying Bison, one of the most consistently good micros in the northeast.

So here's to good, groundbreaking indie rock and its perfect companion, beer. Maybe I'll even buy a T-shirt.

-Mark

Friday's overrated beer: Yuengling Lager

I live in Western New York, a region that until three years ago had but a cursory knowledge of Yuengling beers. You could get the lager at about two restaurants, as well as our local beer superstore, but that was pretty much it.

Yuengling, however, made a huge marketing push in our area for their Traditional Lager. Bars had the lager on special all the time, at insanely low prices. Because people are sheep, it soon became the order du jour when out on the town. The campaign was extremely effective, especially among young adults.

Yuengling is America's oldest brewery. That gives them all the street cred they need, but they can't really get a pass for their lager. It's not thin or watery, but it is full of that delicious corn adjunct flavor. Corn corn corn corn corn.

You see, barley, the grain from which beer is made, is a more expensive cereal than corn. So less discriminating breweries use corn to kinda round out the barley. Sometimes you can barely taste it. Other times, as in the case of Yuengling, the corn flavor and aroma grabs you by the nose and shakes you.

Oh, by the way, the Indians call it maize.

So, while not a terrible beer, it's cheaper and worse than the yuppies who order it think. That's why I consider Yuengling Lager overrated. I like my corn, err..maize, on the cob, not in the pint glass.

-Mark

Brewery tours: friggin' whee

The post below this is newer, but for some reason the act of posting erased this entry. Effeng blogger. Anyway, I kinda like this one, so I repasted it.

I've been on a bunch of brewery tours, of both micros and famous international-type beers. I'm here to tell you they're always waaay overrated. When you get right down to it, dumping grain into boiling water and letting it sit for a month...isn't very interesting.

Even the Guinness tour. "You're going to Dublin? OMG! You have to do the Guinness tour!" I can't tell you how many seasoned world travellers gushed about the freakin' Guinness tour. As if Arthur Guinness himself would take me, along with seven other lucky winners, around the factory in a little boat down a black-and-cream river of stout. And, one by one, each other lucky winner would do something verboten to fuck it up, and small rhyming freaks would cart them away, until it was just me and my Grandpa at the top of the brewery.

Turns out, it's a self-guided tour through the former brewery, past a bunch of old barrels and videos about how Guinness is made. The tour culminates nicely in a round glass room high atop the building, where they give you one lousy freakin' pint of Guinness, and then "hey, me boyo, why dont you hurry yer arse out of here so the next wave of American tourists has a place to stand?"

As you can imagine, touring a microbrewery is even less interesting. Usually, you're "touring" a space the size of a small apartment, while an irritated guy whose job it is to make beer, not conduct customer relations activities, points at the fermenter and says "that's the fermenter, where the beer ferments."

I guess what I'm trying to say is a brewery is like your hot neighbor's panty drawer. It's nice to see the panties serving their inteded consumer function of being removed in your presence, but much less interesting to see them just sitting, bunched up, in a drawer.

Unless you're really into that sort of thing.

-Mark